Sledging has traditionally played an integral role in the game of cricket. The premier objective behind the use of sledging is that it often instigates the opponent to take a false step, which will lead to the disruption of plans. In the Ashes, when England and Australia simply fight it out, the role of sledging gets even more significant. The two sides have been traditional arch rivals and leave no stone unturned in order to outplay one another.
In every Ashes series, viewers come across several episodes of sledging when the Australians and the English indulge in some serious verbal banter. While some cases end there and then, a few are etched for an eternity.
In this article, we go through the top 10 Ashes sledges of all time.
1. “The wife’s fine but the kids are retarded.”
Ian Botham, the England legend was once jeered at by Rod Marsh, the Australian wicketkeeper. Marsh, in an attempt to annoy Botham asked him, “How’s your wife and my kids”. In return to the embarrassing question, Botham had a witty reply when he said, “the wife’s fine but the kids are retarded.”
2. “That’s anywhere inside a three-mile radius.”
Steve Waugh, the Australian captain asked his teammate Ricky Ponting to field at gully, “right under Nasser Hussain’s nose”. That’s when Ian Healy joined in and made fun of Hussain’s Pinocchio style nose by telling “that’s anywhere inside a three-mile radius.”
3. “Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?”
The 1932-33 Ashes series was best remembered as the Bodyline series. Once the Australian fielders allegedly abused Douglas Jardine, the English captain. Jardine took offence to this and began grumbling to the Australian skipper. Aussie skipper Bill Woodfull joined in the fun by questioning “which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?”
4. “But at least I’m the best player in my family.”
This was the classic reply given by Jimmy Ormond to Mark Waugh when asked by the latter on what basis was he chosen to represent England. Ormond, referring to the presence of Mark’s twin brother Steve said, “but at least I’m the best player in my family,” mocking Mark.
5. “Mate, if you turn the bat over, you’ll see instructions on the back.”
Merv Hughes was one lively character. Graeme Hick repeatedly failed to make contact to Hughes’ deliveries. Watching Hick struggle against his bowling, Merv went up to him and said, “Mate, if you turn the bat over, you’ll see instructions on the back.”
6. “Oi, Tufnell, can I borrow your brain? I’m building an idiot.”
At times, the spectators too join in the fun by passing comments on the players. A classic instance occurred when a spectator asked English spinner Phil Tufnell, “Oi, Tufnell, can I borrow your brain? I’m building an idiot.”
7. “Count them yourself, you Pommie bastard.”
This was the one of its kind when the umpire too had a laugh at the expense of the players. Phil Tufnell asked umpire Peter McConnell the number of deliveries left in the over. The umpire responded in a unique style by saying, “count them yourself, you Pommie bastard.”
8. “Look, I don’t mind the others chirping at me but you’re just the bus driver of this team.”
Justin Langer tried to sledge Nasser Hussain along with several of his teammates. But Hussain had an extremely witty reply for Langer when he said, “look, I don’t mind the others chirping at me but you’re just the bus driver of this team.”
9. “When in Rome, dear boy… ”
England’s Mike Atherton was pretty good at sledging as well. The England batsman didn’t walk when he was out and he stood his ground. Ian Healy, the Australian wicketkeeper was livid and mouthed a “fucking cheat” to Atherton. Atherton though, had a calm reply which was enough for Healy. “When in Rome, dear boy… ” responded Atherton.
10. “Get ready for a fucking broken arm”
James Anderson was England’s last man in the middle during the fourth innings of the 2013/14 Gabba test. Anderson soon had an altercation with George Bailey standing at short leg. Seeing that, the Australian skipper walked up to Anderson and said, “Get ready for a fucking broken arm”, referring to the menacing pace of Mitchell Johnson.