Now that Britain has left the European Union, we are on the verge of a probably prolonged turmoil in financial markets; we badly require a safe pair of hands as governor of the Reserve Bank of India. The question is – who will succeed Raghuram Rajan?
On Sunday morning the news came as a sucker punch – like a tracer bullet! Indian cricket team’s former team director Ravi Shastri will be appointed the RBI governor. That’s out of nowhere, nobody even thought about it. But it’s great news for Ravi. He was utterly disappointed when BCCI chose Anil Kumble as next India coach. He didn’t even hide his irritation on being snubbed, and tried to accuse Sourav Ganguly publicly for his dejection and all that from Thailand! Yes, he is now in Thailand for a summer vacation.
Meanwhile back to RBI governor appointment, the announcement was made by finance minister Arun Jaitley who tweeted that, “Reserve Bank of India will now have a new tracer bullet. Yes, the new governor is none other than legendary Indian cricketer Ravi Shastri. We hope Indian economy will now move forward like a tracer bullet.”
Even PM Narendra Modi congratulated Ravi Shastri as he said Ravi is greatly excited about his new role. “When I spoke to him about this, he said in his characteristic style: ‘Well, uh, absolutely Narendra! This is just what the doctor ordered. We’ve got to make sure Indian economy flashes and flashes hard, until it reaches the desired distance faster than a tracer bullet!’”
It was really too tough a decision to chose the next Reserve Bank of India governor. Even the government put out this ad: ‘Wanted — A Reserve Bank of India governor to bring down interest rates. Should not be talented like Rohit Sharma. He should not have a spine to break the north block’s dictate. He must keep a low profile and let the ministers hog face the cameras. Knowledge of economics is preferable but not necessary. He should not have more women following than dear leader and MOST IMPORTANTLY – he should be, mentally fully Indian.’
The development has been welcomed by cabinet ministers and other BJP leaders. Even former BCCI president N Srinivasan declared that the news further cemented the pride he had for Ravi in his heart.
Just like the race for Indian cricket team’s coaching job, Shastri here also had to face some stiff competition. Anupam Kher, Navjot Singh Sidhu, and even Baba Ramdev was shortlisted for the coveted position. But the most shocking contender was Sunny Leone! Yes, Sunny too was shortlisted but Ravi outsmarted everyone.
Anupam Kher, who’s a very good actor, was the first one to be excluded from this list because of his recent activities.
Baba Ramdev was shortlisted for his excellent understanding of business. Given his entrepreneurial skills, he is currently earning in crores of rupees from his Patanjali businesses, why would he take a low-paid job at the RBI?
Some suggested after Rajan, it would be a great move to go for another NRI, to repair some of the damage done by his exit, which brought Sunny Leone to the list. Sunny is not from the US, she’s from Canada. But unfortunately, she turns out to be the number one Indian searched on Google, even more than the prime minister. That angered our dear leader Narendra Modi and ruled out poor Sunny.
Union government zeroed in on Ravi Shastri as the former left-arm spinner, these days, likes to remain low profile off the field. He doesn’t want to be involved in controversies barring the recent one with Sourav Ganguly. He is the ideal man for this job!
Our thoughts – Go Ravi Go. The country needs you.
Disclaimer: This article is written for only humour, and should be take in the same jest.