9) Wayne Rooney (30, Manchester United)
As tempting as it was to leave him out altogether, we have to admit that Wayne Rooney is just about worthy of a place on this list. After all, no player over the age of 30 has registered more assists than Rooney (2) this season and there really is no greater accolade.
Should he still be in the Manchester United side? Should he be playing as a No. 10 for any team with title-winning aspirations? Can he drop any deeper in search of the ball? Does Jose Mourinho have the guts to drop him? No, probably, hopefully and we should sodding well think so but probably not, no.