Now that Sting has finally made his debut in the WWE, everyone wants to know where the Undertaker is. Every wrestling fan on the planet is asking whether the Deadman is going to come for the Stinger, whether he still has enough left in the tank after the Lesnar match, whether he can wrestle one more match.
But no one is asking one burning question: What if the Undertaker was Prime Minister of India?
Well, we are. Here’s what it might be like –
1. If the Members of Parliament started using chairs to fight in the Lok Sabha, the Undertaker would just join right in and beat up all 542 others on his own
2. When Jayalalithaa was sentenced to time in prison, he would promise her ‘Hell in a (jail) Cell’
3. At his opponents’ political rallies, the sun would fade for a second, and lightning would strike the stage, and the Deadman would appear behind the speaker, before choke-slamming him to hell
4. Nawaz Sharif would wear a pair of adult diapers before every meeting with his Indian counterpart
5. He would win 21 state elections in a row, and then an Indian who had become an NRI and then come back to India would come and beat him, making it 21-1
6. He would get Z Class Security – for his enemies! The Undertaker needs no protection
7. He would end his Independence Day speech to the nation with ‘Rest…In…Peace’, which most people would take as an invitation to spend August 15 sleeping lazily in bed
8. He would give his Cabinet a name. Obviously, he would call it the Ministry of Darkness
9. When everything was going well, the ghost of Paul Bearer would reveal his evil, masked half brother, who would beat him in the next election
Disclaimer – This is a Satire and should be taken as one too.