After yesterday’s 2-2 draw with Newcastle, Mourinho slammed Chelsea players by saying ‘’They were -1 out of 10’’. After Chelsea’s disappointing start of this season, the pressure is mounting on the ‘’Special One’’.Whenever the name ‘Jose Mourinho’ is pronounced, either you are gonna get an extremely abusive reaction, or you will get a drooling one. Love him or hate him, you cannot ignore the goofy maestro with the gift of the gab. His oozing confidence, arrogance, funny bones, accent, funny noises during pressers and interviews and taking potshots on opponents – all make him ‘the special one’. Let’s take a look at all Jose Mourinho funny quotes and moments.

Remember the ‘’Laundry Bin’’ incident? Rumour has it that to escape a ban from the 2007 Champions League quarter-finals against Bayern Munich, Jose Mourinho stuffed himself in a laundry basket and sneakily moved out of Stamford Bridge before the end of the game. Mourinho correctly  predicted the playing XI of Barcelona in his press conference before a crunch CL tie with a suave attitude. In 2005, Mourinho famously said about Wenger,’’ I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea’’. The rivalry between Mourinho and Wenger still hasn’t ended till date, with Wenger shoving Mourinho out of his way during Chelsea vs Arsenal match last season. Running down the touchline, throwing his PL winners’ medal are some other famously notorious incidents. Talking about owner Roman Abramovich’s reluctance to buy quality players, Jose famously quipped,’’ It’s all about omelettes and eggs. No eggs, no omelet — and it depends on the quality of the eggs’’. 

How did his name ‘’Special one’’ come? Riding high on the success of FC Porto’s Champions League victory, as Chelsea’s new manager, he boldly said; “I’m not a defender of old or new football managers. I believe in good ones and bad ones, those that achieve success and those that don’t. Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m a European champion and I think I’m a special one.”


Lionel Messi and Christiano Ronaldo also couldn’t evade Mourinho’s sarcastic wrath. After his left-back Del Horno was sent off, Mourinho said ‘’ Can Messi be suspended for acting? Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres and this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting.’’ 

He also took a dig at CR7, saying : “I was manager for the first time in 2000 but, before that, I was assistant in big clubs and with big managers and coaching the best players in the world. So I was 30 and I was coaching Ronaldo – not this one [Cristiano], the real one, the Brazilian Ronaldo.” 

Mourinho hit out at Newcastle for parking the bus by saying: “You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow. You cannot do just anything in football. You have to defend with your 10 men, put the 10 men on the goal line, park the bus, but football needs a ball.”

Mourinho’s great rival Pep Guardiola also couldn’t avoid Mourinho’s witty missiles. Jose said: “Guardiola is a fantastic coach, but I have won two Champions Leagues. He has won [only] one Champions League and that is one that would embarrass me. I would be ashamed to have won it with the scandal of Stamford Bridge and if he wins it this year it will be with the scandal of the Bernabéu.’’

About Rafa Benitez, Mourinho said: “I thought he was going to thank me for the title I gave him. Ask all the Inter fans what they think of me and him.”

The funniest Jose attack must have been on the poor Claudio Ranieri. Mourinho said: “He’s old and he hasn’t won anything. I studied Italian five hours a day for many months to ensure I could communicate with the players, media and fans. Ranieri had been in England for five years and still struggled to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good afternoon.’’

Hitting at Carlo Ancelotti, Mourinho remarked: “Many coaches have won it more than once but there is only one club that was leading 3-0 in the final and managed to lose it. He is 68 and we’ll see how many I have bagged in 23 years.” 

How can we forget about his rant about Rafa’s wife? Here is Jose: “Rafa’s wife should be more concerned about the diet of her husband rather than speak about me.”

Here are some of the famous instances of his sarcastic comments:

On his rivalry with Frank Rijkaard:

“My history as a manager cannot be compared with Frank Rijkaard’s history. He has zero trophies and I have a lot of them.”

On Mourinho’s Porto beating Manchester United in the Cl:

“I understand why he (Alex Ferguson) is a bit emotional. He has some of the top players in the world and they should be doing a lot better than that.

“You would be sad if your team gets as clearly dominated by opponents who have been built on 10% of the budget.”

On taking the Chelsea job:

“If I wanted to have an easy job I would have stayed at Porto. Beautiful blue chair, the UEFA Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”

On Mourinho’s infamous bust-up in Italy with former Catania sporting director Pietro Lo Monaco:

“As for Lo Monaco, I do not know who he is. I have heard of Bayern Monaco (the Italian name for Bayern Munich) and the Monaco GP, the Tibetan Monaco (Monk), and the principality of Monaco. I’ve never heard of any others.”

On Barcelona ‘cheating’ in a Champions League semi-final with Real Madrid:

“One day I would like Josep Guardiola (then coach of Barcelona) to win this competition properly.

“If I tell Uefa what I really think and feel, my career would end now. Instead, I will just ask a question to which I hope one day to get a response: Why?”

He said, “Why drive Aston Martin all the time when I have Ferrari and Porsche as well? That would just be stupid”When asked about rotating Joe Cole, Arjen Robben and Damien Duff. He said, “You can’t win the treble every season. But I’ve done it twice and I think twice is quite a lot.”

The man who can say “What position is my wife in? Eighth, at least” after he was told that he was surveyed to be the ninth most influential man in the world and certainly has a genuine sense of humour.

Be it referee, be it pitch, be it, medical team, be it corruption or money, nobody escapes from Mourinho’s excuse book. Yes, he parks the bus. Yes, he is arrogant, but the man is a brilliant tactician  with great sense of humour. Hope, Chelsea fans back the man.

Oh, I forgot.’’Pressure?what pressure?’’ That’s Mourinho for you.


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